Reflections on Dallas Willard, spiritual formation, and the power of community
There is something fascinating about the way human beings become who they are. We like to imagine that our character is shaped primarily by our individual choices, beliefs, and values. But the truth is considerably more interesting. We are constantly being shaped by the people around us. Spend enough time with someone who sees the world through suspicion, and you may begin to notice threats everywhere. Live alongside someone who practices gratitude, and the ordinary details of life slowly become more beautiful. The people closest to us are quietly teaching us how to be human.
This is one of the reasons I find Dallas Willard's work so compelling. Willard was a philosopher and one of the most significant Christian thinkers of the last century. In his book Kingdom Apprenticeship, theologian Keas Keasler explores Willard's understanding of spiritual transformation and the way our thoughts, emotions, habits, relationships, and communities shape the people we become. One of the book's most compelling ideas is Willard's vision of the church as a school of life.
I love that image. A school of life. A community where people are learning the art of being human together. We arrive with our insecurities, fears, questions, and imperfections. We bring our stories, our wounds, and our hopes for something more. And somewhere within all that humanity, God is at work. Someone remembers our name. Someone listens to our story. Someone makes room for our questions. Over time, the possibility that we are worthy of love moves from something we have heard to something we have experienced. And that experience begins to change us.
At Saint Matthew, we often say that belonging precedes belief. For me, this is more than a statement about hospitality. It reflects something fundamental about how human beings grow. We are formed through relationships. We learn trust by experiencing trustworthiness. We learn forgiveness by receiving it and offering it. We become courageous when someone stands beside us in our uncertainty. Love becomes real through the people who embody it.
Willard believed that the Christian life is an apprenticeship to Jesus, a lifelong process of learning to see the world and respond to it through the wisdom and love of Christ. And apprenticeships require practice. We can spend years discussing forgiveness without ever forgiving someone. We can study generosity without developing generous instincts. We can affirm that every person bears God's image while struggling to treat certain people with dignity. The teachings of Jesus become transformative when they begin shaping how we actually live. Community gives us a place to practice.
Of course, churches do not automatically form people in healthy ways. Religious communities can also cultivate fear, judgment, conformity, and exclusion. This is why intentionality matters. Every community is forming people into something. The question is what kind of people we are helping one another become.
Imagine a church where people gradually become more capable of loving. Where disagreement becomes an opportunity to practice curiosity. Where someone's suffering interrupts our schedules. Where children grow up surrounded by adults who demonstrate kindness and compassion. Where older adults are celebrated for their wisdom and the contributions they continue to make. Where people discover that their lives matter and that they have something meaningful to offer the world.
I believe this is one of the church's most important callings, especially in a world marked by loneliness, division, and distrust. We have the opportunity to cultivate communities where compassion becomes habitual, grace creates the possibility of beginning again, and people learn to participate in God's healing work in the world.
For all the energy we devote to programs, buildings, worship experiences, and organizational growth, I keep returning to a simple conviction. Some of the most important things happening in a church are the quiet transformations taking place in people's lives. Someone becomes more patient. A relationship is restored. A person discovers the courage to tell the truth. Someone who once felt invisible begins to recognize their worth. These moments may never appear in an annual report, but they reveal something profound about the presence of God.
The church exists to help people become more fully human in the way of Jesus. And perhaps the most extraordinary part is that we get to participate in one another's becoming. Through our presence, our kindness, our mistakes, our forgiveness, and our willingness to keep showing up, we are shaping one another.
We are always becoming someone. And we are becoming who we are together.
